Not a Good Game at All

Well that sucked. And that picture pretty much sums up the game. Eric fucking Gordon. I've always gotten the feeling that sneaky has one of the bigger egos in the league. Would love to see him play a full season for once, but damn when he's healthy he can flat out play. He had the lane, his jumper was absolutely lethal, and he flat out ran CP3 out of the gym. Kudos to him, have fun while it lasts Eric because you will undoubtedly be on the injury list again before the season is over, of that I am sure. The sun rises in the East, it sets in the West, and Eric Gordon gets hurt.

But in CP3's defense, Ryan Anderson killed us from behind the arc and we can't expect Chris Paul, Blake, and DeAndre to win every game for us. Jamal needs to play better off the bench, but it's not anything to worry about he'll bounce back. It would be nice if our sharpshooter didn't go 0-5 from three, but that won't happen much either. Aside from that we basically just got beat.  Although I do wish Doc would have attacked the lane more. Usually when one of the most dominant post defenders in the league isn't playing you try to attack that vulnerability in a team, but we won't have to worry about that when he brings Thibs into the fold.

Game Note:

Austin Rivers had another solid performance coming off the bench. Pretty much the only reserve who played well today. I'm still cautiously optimistic right now, but if he can string a few more games like this together maybe he becomes a viable option off the bench.

Ballmer Mood Level:





Calm, collected.  Not furious, not panicked.  Pensive; deep in thought.  A tough road loss against an up and coming team in the West.  Nothing more to do than pack up, hit the road, and lace 'em back up for San Antonio tomorrow.

Tesla's New Model X Has Gull Wing Doors

Honestly could not give less of a fuck about this stupid ass SUV.  Just wanted to give everyone a glimpse of the future of the American automotive industry.  First we give you schmucks technological revolution, now we're reinventing the wheel.  Well not quite, but the we are reinventing the stuff that actually matters.  Fuck wheels, anyone can do wheels. Elon Musk and The Eureka State are mastering machines.

Classic California being on the forefront of new innovations that are going to help shape not only the country, but also the world.  That is so us.

Two Paranoid (Probably Stoned) Bros Report Themselves for Smuggling 20 Pounds of Weed From California to Montana

Source - Eastern Idaho police say two men transporting marijuana from California to Montana called 911 while in Idaho after mistakenly believing undercover officers had discovered their secret.

But police in Rexburg say they weren't aware of the drugs until the two men called on Friday to report their location and the 20 pounds of pot worth $16,000.

The Idaho State Journal reports that police arrested 21-year-old Leland Ryan Kaimipono Ayala-Doliente and 22-year-old Craig Sward Holland. Hometowns weren't available.

The men are being held in the Madison County Jail and face charges of drug trafficking.

Police Capt. Randy Lewis says police had no idea the two men had any marijuana until they alerted authorities.

Not a great move.  I mean what more is there to say?  If the entire world had a "Top 10 Dumbest Things Humans Did Today" rankings at the end of the day like Sportscenter, this would be on that list.  I didn't even know Idaho had police, let alone multiple divisions.  Seeing they have newspapers was also a little surprising.  Seriously, who reads them?  I'm pretty sure there are barrios neighborhoods in Los Angeles that have more people in them than Idaho does.  

Hey Leland have more names, you can't.  And such a bizarre variety of them too.  What are you dude?

PS - We don't think these guys did the weed and that was the cause of the paranoia, do we?

PPS - Fuck it, I'm taking Idaho too.  

20 Year Old Hawaiian Bro Went Fishing and Caught a Shark, Then the Shark Bit the Fuck Out of Him

Source - A 20-year-old Maui fisherman is recovering after being bitten by an 8- to 10-foot tiger shark while he was trying to throw it back to sea.

The Maui News reports Michael Pollard received 38 stitches after he was bitten Tuesday morning in Lahaina.

Pollard says he should have cut the line when he hooked the shark but decided to bring it in. He and a friend tried to push the shark back into the ocean. He then said he was pushing the shark into the water when it started flailing and snagged his leg.

The bite left two semicircle marks on his left calf, which he wrapped with a tourniquet made from his sleeves.




I don't want to say Michael Pollard had it coming to him but every time you fuck with ocean depths of over like 5 feet of water you're essentially playing Russian Roulette. That's just a fact. Sorry pal but you took a risk and you paid. You tested those tiny odds and you damn near lost your life in the process. But in the end you didn't lose your life did you Mikey Boy, you sandbagging sonofagun!


Two things:

1. I cannot properly convey to you in words what I need to say. Ripping your own sleeves off and using them as a tourniquet is absolutely hilarious considering the looks of this guy. Even if it was necessary to save his life and all, deep down inside Michael Pollard had probably been itching to rip those bad boys off anyways so he could get a little sun on the guns. Nothing but respect for the move and he gave the sleeves to a good cause. Beautifully done.
   
   
2. At the end of the day being attacked by a shark is basically the worst thing ever. But there is a silver lining to being attacked. If you survive it and you're a dude, it's basically free pussy for life. You basically come off as Hercules to chicks. Yeah I faced the monster and lived to tell the tale, you wanna smash? Great, let's do it. That's how that conversation goes like 95% of the time.

PS - Hawaii is the furthest thing west in the world as far as I'm concerned so I guess that puts it in my jurisdiction. Weird fucking place. Outside of the touristy shit I'm pretty sure the rest of it is basically shanty towns, stray dogs, and meth heads. Never been there so I could be wrong, but I've always imagined the real Hawaii as an island version of Reno.

Anyone See Today's Headlines?

Live look in on Steve Ballmer:







LOVE hearing news like this. Anything to get the ball rolling on Thibs to the Clips.  Sucks for Bulls fans.  Where's the owner, Jerry Reinsdorf, during all of this?  He is completely letting management run a coach out of town for reasons completely unrelated to job performance and team relations.  Where's John Paxson?  You know what, it's probably best I don't ask too many questions.  Don't wanna dig too deep and uncover some scandalous shit that sways public opinion back in favor of Thibs.  Almost just shot myself in the foot there.  And to Gar Forman, thank you.  I mean that from the bottom of my heart, thank you Gar.



(Gar exits)

All of These Possible Plans for an NFL Stadium in Los Angeles are Pretty Dope

Source - It's been a 20 year battle (so far) to bring the NFL back to Los Angeles, but in 2015 it finally seems like it might really be happening. Again. For the millionth time. Mysterious sources inside the NFL claimed last fall that the league would return in the next couple years (with one or possibly even two teams) and meanwhile there's been a mad rush to develop the stadium plan that will be most enticing to the notoriously controlling NFL. There are now six potential sites on the table, ranging from silly dreams to serious business, and from Dodger Stadium to Downtown to the San Gabriel Valley.

Reading this article and seeing some of these "possible" plans literally made me start to salivate.  Can someone please give me a football team?  Is that what it's gonna take Goodell?  You want me to be a whipped, polite and proper little servant boy?  No way, no fucking way.  Give me a goddamn football team you no good, low down, snake in the grass, soulless bastard.  Better yet, give me the Raiders.  Northern California already has a football team and the Chargers for some reason kind of feel like the perennial pussies of the NFL.  They can be lights out during the regular season but come playoff time that whole team is gonna crumble to bits all over the field against a veteran team.

If you don't feel like reading the article I'll do a quick rundown of it.  First things first, out of the "six" potential sites, there's only 3 that have any actual potential.  Two are proposed for Carson, either East or West of the 405, which is a big road we have out here if you're not familiar.  Those ain't happenin', that whole area is basically a giant landfill.  The people are trash as well, but the actual land is all former landfill.  No way, NFL is way to bougy for any of that.  

And the picture up top definitely won't happen either - it's in the middle of nowhere and it's way too gimmicky.  Pretty much a sports-themed mini Vegas pipe dream for some idiot who wants the public to pay for it to be built so he can run it and make all the actual money.  As if I was born yesterday.  On top of that there's the possibility in downtown LA but I just don't see that happening. And with out further adieu:

THE CONTENDERS

Inglewood

The plan: Just last month, St. Louis Rams owner Stan Kroenke announced he's joining up with the firms redeveloping Inglewood's Hollywood Park racetrack on a proposal for an 80,000-seat NFL stadium with parking and 6,000-seat entertainment venue to sit adjacent to the huge Hollywood Park development, which will have residential, retail, and office space, plus hotels and parks.

The odds: Better than anyone else. Kroenke already owns an NFL team (which has just announced it's going year-to-year on its lease in St. Louis), so he has some pull with the NFL, and he and his partners have cleverly opted to put the plan on the ballot in Inglewood (they've already collected twice as many signatures as they need). A public vote could circumvent California's long, strict, and legally-vulnerable environmental review process. Then again, the newest NFL stadium plan always looks the best.

Sounds absolutely awesome, only problem is that it's the Rams.  Don't get me wrong I want an NFL team badly and beggars can't be choosers.  I'll take what I can get.  But I always envisioned the Black and Silver Bandits riding dirty back into Los Angeles.  Sure they suck now, but in my dreams they adopt the Bad Boys mentality from those old Pistons teams, nickname the new stadium "The Palace" and dismantle people every single home game.  Khalil Mack would be crushing both opponents and their dreams on the field, the crowd would be one of the most hostile in the league.  There would be fat bearded Mexican dudes with crazy paint and glued on spikes all over the place.  It doesn't look good for that scenario though, unfortunately.  But like I said before if you give me a professional football team you can bet your sweet ass I'll welcome them with open arms.  Plus the main reason the Rams suck is because they're from St. Louis and St. Louis sucks.

Chavez Ravine

The plan: Everyone has always loved the idea of putting a football stadium in Chavez Ravine, home of Dodger Stadium. Then-Dodgers-owner Frank McCourt had a stadium plan back in 2005, an NFL source called it "the preferred" choice in 2012, and new Dodgers owners Guggenheim was reportedly in serious talks with the league in 2013. They'd most likely add a football stadium somewhere on the enormous amount of land that surrounds Dodger Stadium.

The odds: Solid. There hasn't been a peep from anyone about this in a long time, but the NFL has always seemed to love the idea, and Guggenheim, along with partner Magic Johnson, seem eager to branch out (they looked into buying the Clippers last year).

This is where The Men in Black come into the realm of possibility.  Tons of room, great location, a perfect fit really.  Unfortunately the NFL still has to approve it.  If someone can explain to me how the second largest city in the country and we don't have an NFL and have it make sense I'll give you a billion dollars.  We're the biggest city in the state that produces more NFL players than anyone else and we don't have a pro football team.  That's just ludicrous.  There's absolutely no excuse.  

Give a team Goodell...You have one day.

Wanna Know What the Real Deal is with Bieber's Apology Video? Well Let Me Fucking Tell Ya

Source - Justin Bieber is making a very emotional and thought-provoking apology to his fans -- but what's unclear is exactly WHY he's doing it.

Bieber seemed to be pouring his heart out in the video he posted late Wednesday evening. He copped to covering up his true feelings for the past year and a half ... and promised he was trying to change. 

The video mea culpa came hours after Justin taped an episode of "Ellen." Sources at the taping tell us Justin kinda bombed the appearance -- giving Ellen DeGeneres one word answers ... and seeming extremely nervous.

In his confession, Justin says "I was afraid of what people are thinking about me right now."

JB added ... he wanted everyone to know he's not the type of person to say, "I don't give a f**k" -- or at least he isn't anymore. Watch the video ... makes you wonder how badly he really tanked.



I hate this fucking kid with a burning passion.  I think he's one of the biggest hardos on the planet and I wish someone at one of these award shows would give him a wedgie on stage or shove him into the bathroom and hit him with swirly.  His rat stache is grossing us all out and for some reason he thinks he's Justin BeastMode when we can all see clear as day that he's about 5'6" and weighs about 145 pounds soaking wet.  I honestly think Selena Gomez could beat him up, and I damn sure would love to see her do so.

That said...this is the one of the most savage moves I've ever seen.  This legit shows me something, Biebs.  I clearly wasn't giving this kid enough credit in terms of intelligence.  I figured he was a box of rocks up there and just slung dick because he can sing and has money, but maybe there's more to this kid than we know.  I always thought that Selena was either playing up the Biebs thing for publicity, but what if she's truly, honestly obsessed with this motherfucker?  What if her loins do really burn for Bieber?  Maybe he just flipped the script and put her brain/pussy in his back pocket like he's doing in this video.  

If you honestly think Bieber is apologizing for being "arrogant" and "conceited" you are outside of your goddamn mind.  What's he sorry for - stuffing 10s on an hourly basis?  Being a mega millionaire before he could legally drink?  HA!  This video is more heartfelt and apologetic than any apology from a celebrity in the history of apologies.  He didn't break down, he didn't hurt anyone, no legit drug addiction or reckless alcoholism.  This is money in his pocket, plain and simple.  And the millions of women that Biebs turned off these past two years with his horrendous behavior? Yeah, they're all soaking wet and fighting each other for a seat back on the bandwagon, slushy muffs to boot!  If you're just a dumb piece of white trash who dresses like a dick for no reason I'm going to fucking hate you.  But if you're really just an evil master manipulator who's using his talents to collect absurd amounts of cash and coochie while warping the minds of the public I've got nothing but respect.  



Wait, so does this mean I respect Biebs?  Woah.