Happy birthday to Michael Jeffrey Jordan, the greatest basketball player athlete of all time. That above shot is still to this day some of the most miraculous shit I have ever seen. One of literally thousands of miracles that this guy performed on a nightly basis. 6 for 6 in Finals appearances, winning Finals MVP in all six. Too many records to count. He is quite possibly the most competitive person this planet has ever seen, and I fucking love him for it.
I, like a lot of kids, grew up watching Jordan play. He was the guy that made people want to watch sports, and then once they started watching they needed more. If there is one thing I know for a fact, it is that life is better when Michael Jordan is playing basketball. Right after he won his first title in 1991, the Cold War ended*. Bill Clinton became President shortly thereafter, maybe the most savage President of all time. Even if he and Elizabeth Hurley didn't smash in the White House, the fact that it was even a rumor speaks volumes. The economy was booming, the gas was cheap, the digital age sprung to life, and we got the opportunity to see the most dominant competitor the world has ever come to know. So again, happy birthday Mike. I'd say go enjoy it, but I'm about 10,000% positive you're already bellied up to a craps table with a drink in your hand and a cigar in your mouth. More than likely surrounded by a gaggle of bitches, undoubtedly all ready to hop on your dick at the snap of your fingers...so I guess just keep it up. You've earned it buddy.
PS - How much does it suck having to shop for MJ on his birthday? Like what are you supposed to get the guy who has everything? I say you have to go one of two ways...either something super easy like golf balls or cigars, maybe a bottle of booze, or you go with something that completely plays to his ego. Like this...
...Except ten feet tall and framed.
*The Cold War actually ended February 17, 1963. The world just didn't know it.
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